I’m not going to say that I’ve been through the worst event in my life. I will say that I may know how it feels when you say, “Hidup gw hancur!”.
My suggestion is that you should find positive circle. Everyone who reminds you to pray, listens to your problems, cheers you up, gives positive solution, encourages to continue your life and finds other subjects to discuss whenever you start to talk the sadness.
Years ago, my heart was broken. I had a very short time relationship with somebody in Australia. Since I knew about relationship, it was the only time which made me feel deeply sad. I even lost my weight haha.. Anyway my friends were there (My family lived in another city) and they did exactly as I wrote as a suggestion above. Less then a month I could move forward. My heart was still broken but I could smile, eat and do well during my clerkship.
Hey, but why exactly should I listen to blabla people saying? Why didn’t I keep myself busy with my own thoughts, think about him and let myself sad? Because I wanted to continue my life, to be happy, to be sure that I’ll decide the right thing and to be better me.
A magical statement from my friend was, “Udahlah Mel, buat apa dipikirin lagi. Kalau Allah kasih yang sekarang jalan kayak gini berarti mungkin orang itu emang gak baik buat kamu dan suatu saat nanti akan ada yang lebih baik. Percaya sama Allah.” I kept her statement. Then, it happened. I met my husband :). After I learn Islam more deeply, I believe Allah has way to give the best for us as long as we pray, try, have patience and believe.
Another lesson was when my dad suddenly passed away. It was June 2013, one day before SPMB (the national exam as requirement to get admitted in public university), I was in class when suddenly a teacher came and told me that my aunt and uncle were downstairs. They came to pick me up. No one answered as I asked, “Why?” I was only thinking about mom because she should be at the hospital by now to check her post-op.
As I reached home, there were lots people. I ran and found my mother accompanied by my aunts was preparing clothes. I only asked, “Ada apa?”, “Mom kenapa?”. They left us and mom started to breath deeply before she said the sentences that made me cry. My father passed away in Malang and she wanted to take his body to Jakarta. He was okay that morning, he had come into my room before he went to airport to catch his morning flight to Surabaya.
My mother made me promise that I had to write my exam, the day after, as best as I can do, as my father wished too, so that I could reach my dream to be a doctor. She didn’t scream, she didn’t cry out loud, she did everything as usual before she went to the airport and she managed everything as well after that.
That was the day that made me like Me now. I am not independent woman but I try to not so much depend on my husband or my family. I set up goal (for example education) to ensure my future (particularly my son). I learn to manage my feelings too.